Things I Learned During Third Year

From a XY classmate:

While on rotations during the fourth year, I have finally realized just how much
I learned during the third year of medical school. I have compiled a list of
the top things I have learned over the past year. Here they are, enjoy!

1. Surgeons have the innate ability to know what you have read about and what
you haven't and will inevitably ask you about everything except what you read

2. Chicks don't dig the diphallus or microphallus and they definitely don't
like the combination (P.S. I am crying a little while I write this)

3. I finally have an answer to "Why not Minot?"

4. It's possible to become jaded even before graduation (does this bother
anyone else?)

5. The third year of medical school increases your sperm count, ova production
and overall fertility (we had lots of babies in our class 3rd year)

6. 8 of 10 Internal medicine patients emit the most rancid smell when I roll
them over to listen to their back but I have yet to find a source for the
malodorous stank

7. I finally know what a "truck lizard" means

8. Delivering a baby is much cooler than you can ever imagine

9. Seeing a patient with Fournier's gangrene is not as cool as it sounds. You
think to yourself: gangrene of the scrotum would be pretty cool and then you
get there and... its gangrene of the scrotum. It's actually kind of gross.

10. The specialties:
Everyone loves the ob/gyns but nobody wants to be them

No one likes the orthos but they think every one loves them because
they're god

Pathology requires you to be a comedian or a circus freak (no in-
between)

Psychiatrists tend to have more problems than their patients

Most radiologists go into their field out of an intense fear of the
melanoma

11. Nurses are not in awe of physicians (certainly not of medical students) and
usually are not even impressed enough to give you a pity make-out session at the
bar... but nursing students occasionally are ;) [unless you are limited by #2 –
once again, I am in the fetal position sobbing]

12. Third year preceptors don't think it is nearly as funny to put LCHAD into
every differential

13. MRSA does not stand for "Macromastia Rabid Sex Addict" – unfortunately I
didn't know this before "the Incident"

If you have any awe-inspiring lessons you have learned, such as these, please
feel free to comment.

Details, Details

So I'm waiting for all that paperwork to print right now and Ive really been slacking on my blog. Here I am. About a week after the match I recieved a gigantic box in the mail full of paperwork to read, sign, and fill out. I also recieved a long list of online presentations and tests that I needed to complete. Around the world there are hundreds of thousands in my same boat, but it does seem quite overwhelming. We are trying to pack our home, find a place to live, keep the kids fed and within earshot, and figuring out all that financial aid crap. Im just going to put all that aside for a while so I can do some paperwork... La De Da.... Upstairs I hear Guitar Hero... so Im not the only one taking a break from the slew of what needs to get done today. At least I know my HIPPA and privacy rules..

Clearing the desk

The cardinal rules of ICU
- Blood goes round and round
- Air goes in and out
- Oxygen is good
- Steroids are good, except when they're bad
- Pee before procedure
- Thou shalt be awake or have a trach

"Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command" -Emerson

In God we trust, all others need data.